Monday, June 15, 2015

Sarah's back, and mayhem is bound to follow

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Dyslexic and bumbling love angel, Sarah, comes to earth to unite Carolyn with a mate. Her orders from the Superiors specify she must make this happen while Carolyn cruises to Catalina Island. Sarah fears she’ll fall into the ocean and drown under the pull of her soggy wings. Facing a cruise might just be worse than facing a scary ferris wheel, but on this visit to earth, there’s more to fear than ocean waves... Talen is an evil spirit is assigned to thwart Sarah’s efforts by any means possible. The two destined lovers must not unite. Will Talen complete his task? Can Tomas, the Warrior Angel, successfully protect Sarah? Or will she goof up the battle between the holy and unholy spirits? Poopty doopty... Mayhem is bound to happen.

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EXCERPT
Copyright 2015 Gay N Lewis
Oh no, not the ocean. Please, please, please—not the deep sea.
How could she possibly stay upright on a cruise ship when the mere sight of white caps made her head spin? This voyage might make her too dizzy, and my stars! She’d toddle around on deck and fall flat on her face. Or maybe hit her bottom, or worse yet, maybe somersault overboard.
Angels weren’t supposed to become woozy, and she didn’t know any who had even once upchucked while on assignment. Would she be the pioneer for such an unsightly, non-angelic, ghastly behavior? She’d certainly been the first to do other bizarre things.
Sarah crossed her fingers and looked skyward. Oops, God’s chosen helpers shouldn’t use any good luck signs—especially that one. She untwisted her digits and made a prayer steeple with her hands.
“Help. Couldn’t You send another spirit being for this mission? One who acted more like Noah? He stayed on the arc while the whole Earth flooded. How about someone comparable to Jonah? Waves tossing about didn’t bother him—he slept during a raging storm.” Sarah drew her brows together. “That is until the sailors on the ship threw him overboard.” Sarah grimaced. “Then that huge fish swallowed him.”
From her position on top of a tall, Houston skyscraper, Sarah gulped as she gazed upward. “Lieutenant, sir, are you certain I must do this?”
The clouds parted, and the Lieutenant nodded. No words—just a gesture of the head to indicate a yes, and then her Superior vanished.
So here again, while on Earth, she must carry out another impossible task. Sarah, the little love angel from The Heavenlies, known by everybody up there as a major goof-up. Her bumbles kept other angels rolling on the golden paths in laughter.
Okay, time to get with it. She needed to find a mate for Carolyn, a lonely young woman, and she had to do it on an aquatic craft, no less. Excited about staying on the planet? Sure. Happy, thrilled witless about staying on Earth—as in Terra Firma. Solid ground. Dry land. But no such good fortune—the Commander gave the assignment to find a husband for Carolyn on a cruise ship—out on the great, big body of water.
The Commander thought she would get over the need to throw up when she flew over H2O. Harrumph! Easy for him to say—he held no such problems.
A loud clap of thunder bolted Sarah from her disgruntled reverie. “Okay. Sorry. I’ll adjust my attitude.” Sarah set out her blue blanket and made a comfortable spot on the roof.
After receiving orders in The Heavenlies, she’d bolted back to Houston. Her new assignment, Carolyn Baker, lived here. Sarah sighed. At least this place was somewhat familiar. This city had been home base for several missions, and she’d grown fond of the inhabitants. From her spot on top of the building, she surveyed the city. Although she’d traveled around it many times, she never became totally at ease. This Texas city spread far and wide, and finding her way remained a constant problem.
Could Texas be any hotter, especially this time of year? The end of summer might be around the corner, and even though the human calendar read mid-September, heat lingered. Maybe Carolyn wanted to escape the extreme temperatures and thought sea breezes might be cooler.
“Guess I’ll find out if that’s true.” Sarah sighed and placed a hand in her robe to retrieve her briefings. She pulled the deep pouch inside-out, and then searched the pocket on the other side. “Not again! I must have lost the dossier. I did that on my first time around. Don’t tell me I’ve repeated that same mistake. Just what I need—already a problem and I haven’t even started the assignment.”
Sarah glanced upward again. “Mother Goodness, would you send someone down with the file on Carolyn Baker?”
No one appeared.
Sigh. Sarah sat down on her blanket to wait. She touched the freckle on her left wrist to adjust her body temperature. Too bad the humans possessed no powers to do that. Coolness settled over her, and she gazed skyward. Nothing and no one appeared.
Should she make another request? Sometimes answers from above came quickly, and at other times, they didn’t. Why wouldn’t The Heavenlies reply to all her urgent prayers? That question stayed a mystery. Reasons for not hearing back? Known only to the Almighty, but poopty doopty, the responses were sometimes difficult to wait for.
Her stomach growled. When had she eaten? Chef Andrew had prepared a delicious breakfast for her before she’d left—upscale coffee, cranberry muffins, omelet, and a waffle. Had breakfast been long ago? Such things were difficult to tell. Time didn’t register in The Heavenlies, but now on Earth, it seemed hours ago.
While she waited for the info on Carolyn, why not catch lunch? Uh-oh! Donning a human disguise remained a challenge. But she might as well kill time with a productive activity, and eating hit the list as one of her favorite events. Who to be this time?
She’d done relatively well when she appeared before as an elderly lady. Why not try that again? No one could see her atop this tower, so she felt a certain amount of freedom to assume a masquerade. With a flutter of her hand, Sarah colored her hair white and added several shimmering shades of blue to the sheen. She brandished it into a bun of sorts and perched the thingy on top of her head. Then she supplemented seventy pounds to her petite frame and slipped eyeglasses on. Now. What to wear?
She chose a green paisley dress, panty hose, and low-heeled, black orthopedic shoes. Okay—that should do it. After dropping from the roof, she surfaced inside the building. In the dimly lit area, the space appeared quite small.
Oops! She’d meant to appear on the street. Oh well. She was inside now. What location had she bopped into?
Judging from a dress hanging on a rack, she decided she must’ve relocated to some kind of interior closet. She wondered what might be behind the wooden door. She cautiously opened the access and ventured out.
“Hey! How did you get in there?” A man yelled at Sarah as he suddenly sat up in a bed.
A woman pulled a sheet up under her chin. “Who is that, Norman?”
“I have no idea.” The man threw a protective arm over the female lying beside him. “Lady, who are you, and what are you doing in our hotel room?”
Merciful heavens! What had she done? Think fast, Sarah. Make your voice sound crackly and old.
“Well, hello, young fella.” Sarah pushed the glasses higher on her nose. “The hotel sent me in to help a couple make a love connection. Do you need any advice? I’m a psychologist.”
“No, my wife and I are very happy—just trying to sleep late. Would you get out of our room, please?”
“Oh sure. Don’t bother showing me to the door. I’ll see myself out. Guess they gave me the wrong room. I counsel people who have problems, but ya’ll look blissfully married. Tootle-loo.” Sarah waved, opened the closet door and disappeared from view. She backed against the wall with her heart pounding, gulping air as if she’d run a marathon.
“What in the world? She went back into the closet.” Sarah heard the lady’s alarmed voice.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get that old bag out of here and you’d better believe I’m going to complain to the front desk.”
In her invisible, miniature form, Sarah watched the closet door burst open.
“What?” Norman squinted around the mostly empty closet. “Where did she go?”
Sarah held her breath.
“The closet is empty.” Wearing orange and white striped pajamas, the lady peered over her husband’s shoulder. “Did we dream her?”
“Both of us?” Norman sounded incredulous.
“What other explanation is there? She wasn’t in the closet when we checked in last night, and she isn’t there now.” The lady glanced at the outer door. “The door is locked and bolted.”
Norman scratched his head. “On second thought, I think I’ll keep quiet about this incident. Forget the complaint. I can’t think of a way to explain a disappearing granny who claims to make love connections.”
“Do you think those mushrooms we ate last night caused us to see things? They were sautéed in brandy, and we both thought they tasted odd.”
Norman rubbed his forehead. “No, I don’t think so. It was just a new dish, and the server assured us they were fresh. We might say we ate poisoned mushrooms, but that sounds nutty. No one would believe we had them in a reputable restaurant. Let’s keep this incident to ourselves.” He closed the door.
“Norman, I’m scared. Do you think we should go to the hospital and have our stomachs pumped?”
“Don’t worry, honey. We’re okay. I don’t know what just happened, but when we are as ancient as that woman who came out of the closet, we’ll tell our grandchildren the story. It oughta make a good fairy tale.”

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