Future Faking--another narcissist's trick

 

My ex was great at making promises he had no intention of fulfilling. Anything I loved, he did everything he could to steal it from me.

The second last year we were together, he told me we wouldn't celebrate Christmas that December, but we'd catch all the store sales in January and get everything we wanted at a great discount price.

I was nine years into the relationship and should have known better. But I didn't. I could see the logic in what he was saying. (Yeeeeah, logic...) So I went along with it. 

Christmas had always been a big deal to me. The presents were nice, turkey dinners always delicious, but it was the being surrounded by loved ones that always felt magical to me.

So December 25th rolled around, no celebrations, no decorations, no anything festive, and it was extremely depressing. I ended up calling my mum and listened as everyone in my parents' home opened their gifts. It did little to take away some of the emptiness I was feeling at that moment. I was essentially alone. The ex stayed in bed and as usual couldn't be bothered to spend time with me. (Spending much time with me was one of the first things to evaporate after we married.)

Then January happened and you won't believe it: the promise of Christmas in January never happened. In fact, after Dec 25th, that promise was never mentioned again. But I think at that point I knew that it wasn't going to happen.

The following year, we went to my parents' place for Dec 25th. And I was so stressed by the ex, his fake promises, and his progressively cold attitude toward me, I couldn't bring myself to shop. He bought me gifts, but there was nothing for him. It would ultimately turn out to be our last Dec 25th together.

If someone is future faking you--making promises they have no intention of keeping and continually leading you deeper into their dark existence--it's a huge red flag that that person doesn't care about you. They just want to keep you dangling on their hook like a helpless, powerless little worm. For your sake, find someone to talk to and get professional help.

For more info on future faking, check out this article.