Disclaimer: these stories are in no way meant to encourage the harming of people, animals or property. Rather they are to be used as a literary springboard.

French thieves drive victim home for christmas eve

A pair of thieves who seized a van loaded with pricey designer goods near Paris on Wednesday took a two-hour detour so they could drive the owner home for his Christmas Eve dinner, before fleeing with the loot.

Posing as police, the two men tricked the van driver into pulling over at a motorway intersection on the edge of Paris by chasing him in a car fitted with a flashing blue light, a siren and a "police" sign. 

Despite being armed with guns and wearing balaclavas, the thieves showed some seasonal goodwill when they asked their victim where he lived, explaining "we don't want you to have too far to walk," according to police sources. 

They then drove the man around 300 km (185 miles) to his home in Saint Soupplets in eastern France, so he could arrive in time for the traditional Christmas meal which in France is eaten on the evening of December 24. Showing that Christmas spirit only goes so far, the man, whose van was loaded with clothes from labels like Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent, has filed a complaint with police.