Today, I made corn chowder from scratch. Did a load of laundry--washed, dried, folded, put away--washed dishes, took out the garbage, fed the cat, and cleaned the litter box. None of those things benefitted me.
I don't eat chowder. Those weren't my clothes I washed, dried, folded, and put away. It wasn't my kitchen I cleaned. It wasn't my garbage I took out. That wasn't my cat.
Most people would appreciate someone doing those things for them, especially when they're older. But a narcissist is rarely ever grateful. They expect those things to be done for them. Plus more.
Case in point: after I'd done those menial tasks and was ready to return to my apartment, the narcissist asked me to do something else, something that I'd been told not to do a few weeks earlier--adjust the heat pump. So I flat out refused.
That heat pump had been replaced and repaired quite a few times. If it broke again after I'd made adjustments, know who would get the blame? Exactly!
The narcissist immediately pulled a disgusted look and muttered something. Maybe cursed me. But I shrugged it off and walked away.
Did their reaction surprise me? No. Will I continue to do these tasks for the narcissist? Yes. But I learned how to distance myself, to gray rock, to save my mental health from someone who rarely appreciates anything I do for them. I get satisfaction from knowing that I'm helping a couple who have physical limitations, performing tasks that are necessary and important. And I'm also doing to others what I'd want them to do to me.
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